Leaving the Bay...

I am sitting in the Charlotte airport with a 4 hour layover on my way to Asheville to speak/ build sheds at a conference for youth interested in missions. After the weekend I will be on vacation and in Nebraska seeing my girlfriend. With time off before me the only thing that I want during the weeks leading up to being out of the Bay is to be gone. As the day approaches all I can see is all that I will miss and it is hard to leave. As always with me everything is last minute. This morning I spent running around finishing up all that I needed to do. I have actually spent the past hour at the airport emailing Curt and Sarah, our very capable and blessing from Jesus of a return intern from the summer to keep us afloat, the details of what has to happen to deal with the 90 volunteers for this Saturday and the 75 for next weekend. Good luck ya’ll. Much of this is brought on by the fact that you can stay busy at Lagniappe with distractions and everything but what you need to get done and still be productive and not wasting time just not getting done what you have to. O distractions, not always fun. In Philippians 1:21 Paul claims “ to live is Christ, to die is gain.” I don’t believe I am able to claim that same statement but I can relate now after being at Lagniappe. I think at times the only thing from keeping me from buying into that statement is the fact that I have a future someday outside of Lagniappe. At this point I can feel the tension. All I want is to be out of the Bay but when it comes close to that happening it is very hard to leave and I run out just barely making my plane never knowing quite sure what I packed. Jean and I talked about this tension and joked about our deal that neither of us can eject from the Bay without bringing the other with. This brought about talking about a sermon that Joe Novenson had preached while Jean was in Memphis that morning. He talked about that tension that as a Christian we are called to live in. I am 24, have no background in management, not much experience in building, hardly any “real life” experience and I am deeply involved with an organization that runs thousands of volunteers in construction, has over a million dollar budget, and on top of all that I am integrally involved in all of that. Continually I cry, “God I CAN’T do this!” God continually responds, “I know”. At my best I am simply a crooked stick that God is using to strike a straight blow with. I have to realize when I leave the Bay that the kingdom will advance without me and deal with my pride but at the same time that anxiety about leaving comes from that tension. I am definitely working and accomplishing beyond my ability, not because of anything I can do but because God continually answers my cry of incapability with I know you cannot, but I CAN even through you. Please pray for Lagniappe, the staff, the volunteers, and the ministry and thank God that over and over in-spite of those involved down here His Kingdom advances. Please also pray for endurance, perseverance, faith, and rest in that living in this tension is not easy and takes it toll but don’t feel sorry, after tasting what it means to live in such a manner I would have it no other way. Once tasting God’s grace you cannot live outside of that.