The Crisis of the "Quarter Life Crisis"

A few years ago someone sent me an e-mail called the "Quarter Life Crisis". By way of background it was one of those 'forward it to a friend' e-mails and essentially was being forwarded around to the "twenty-somethings" who we're asking the big questions in life. I wrote a 'counter-point' to the Quarter Life crisis. A good friend asked me today for that e-mail. The response is what follows. ********************************* The Crisis of the "Quarter Life Crisis" Somewhere along the way someone promised everyone 'tomorrow'. Somewhere along the way we were supposed to make more money than our parents, be happier, more fulfilled, wiser, more sensitive and more open-minded. Somewhere along the way we decided that the script was up to us. So we planned... and we dreamed... and we educated ourselves... and we got the best degree... and we made all the contacts... and we shook all the hands... and we smiled at all the parties... and we started climbing to the top... We defined the 'top' It was money. It was success. It was happiness. It was marriage. It was children. It was every page out of every L.L. Bean catalog we've ever seen. Sitting by the fire with a golden retriever. Having a snowball fight with a model. Having a coy look at our fiance on a wharf in Nantucket. Sipping cider from a $225 cast Iron pot with a pine cone painted on the side of it. That was the top. But on the way up something happened. We met people coming down. Money wasn't enough, or there fast enough, or it was just spent as soon as it was acquired. They weren't successful at being 'sucesses'. People wanted them to work, labor, sweat, and earn respect. A college degree and 2 years of Poly-sci wasn't enough to make them the office expert. Hapiness was making them very unhappy. Sad things happend to them. They weren't supposed to- other people got cancer, other people's parent's divorced or died, other people had their hearts broken. But we started to realize we we're the 'other' people. Marriages were tumbling down. There were friends with 2 year old children who had step mommies and step daddies. The 50% divorce rate was not supposed to affect my life, my friends. I never dreamed that half of the weddings I was IN would end in divorce. There were lots of people on the way down, lots of them. And so we hoped for tomorrow, a better day, a better job, a better marriage, a better life. Somewhere, someplace, somehow we would get to 'hapiness'. Everyone else must have been wrong. It must have been them. It must have been their parents. Everyone else is screwed up. But in the back of our seared consciences there is a nagging thought, like a hair in our mouths, that maybe, just maybe, it's us. We've seen glimpses of it. Anger, Selfishness, Bitterness, Pride, Envy, and deceit. But we ALWAYS plugged our ears. And it never went away- a hollow groan from our souls telling us that it WAS us. We used to joke with friends saying, "It's all about me." But it really was. Depressed. Lonely. Sad. Discouraged. Let down by our own dreams. And we we're only 20-something. And then someone called it the 'Quarter-Life Crisis'. And we said, "Yes!" That's it! That's how I feel! That is my life! There's just one question: Are you sure it's "Quarter-life"? Who promised everyone tomorrow? Why is today not your 1/2 life crisis or the 3/4 life crisis or the 'life' crisis? Somewhere, even in our diagnosis, the disease shows up again. It's only 'Quarter-Life' we say. It won't always be like this. Keep climbing. Keep going. The people coming down are the exceptions, not the rule. It's only 'Quarter-Life'. Maybe the echos of emptiness from all the relationships, jobs, and toys were just shallow echos. Maybe this isn't the way up, maybe this is actually the way down. Maybe the broken empty people are closer to the truth, than the idealistic ones on the way 'up'. Maybe the bottom is much further down. There is a "Mid-Life" Crisis you know. It comes after the "Quarter-life" crisis. How could that be? Could it be that things get worse, not better? Could it be that after all these crises we're still NOT there yet... Why do old people talk so much? Why do they sit in parks and watch the birds? Why do they take an hour to eat a meal? Why do they still write letters with paper and pen? Maybe they know what Solomon knew. Meaningless, Meaningless, he said. It is all a 'chasing after the wind'. Money. Jobs. Marriage. Good Kids. Vacation homes. Nice cars. Ski boats. and Happiness. When you grasp for them you grasp at vapor, nothingness. There is nothing solid except Him. Over and over Solomon says in the Book of Ecclesiasted that all things lack meaning UNTIL we see God as the author of all things, all times, all places, all seasons and all lives. That same God has promised tomorrow to no one. Neither has He promised you 'today'. The breath you breathe today is a gift from Him. The life you live is a gift from Him. The crisis is not a 'Quarter-life' crisis. It is a Life Crisis. It is as old as solomon. It is a Life Crisis of living for tomorrow, for 'things' to get better, for it 'all to work out'. Today is yesterday's tomorrow. Is it better? Has it all worked out? Does it really help to know that an entire generation of people are as miserable as you are? Maybe your script was wrong Maybe your plans were miscalculated. Maybe it was just 'all about you.' Maybe the script wasn't up to us. Maybe the 'Quarter-life' crisis was a part of His script.Maybe God hasn't left me, maybe He's left me with only Himself. Maybe the emptiness of 'Quarter-life' is a greater blessing than finding out at 'mid-life'. Not in a preachy, funky, churchy way, but maybe, just maybe, Jesus was right. Maybe when He said, "I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly..." He was right. Maybe the emptiness of everything you have been grasping was to leave you with only Him. You don't have to forward this. You don't have to send it to 5 friends. Just ask yourself, what is the meaning of the meaninglessness? Jesus alone is the way, the truth, and the life.